Daily Archives: April 12, 2012

Too Soon

This isn’t exactly a post about religion, but it’s sure to offend some people and if you are in any way offended…well, I’m sorry that you feel that way.
This post isn’t about what I believe versus what you believe; I’ve already done that bit. (Religion and Truth). This is just my opinion about a few of the flaws that I have found in the practices of those close to me. What I consider to be a flaw, you might believe to be a nice quality and that’s okay, believe what you want. Your beliefs do not actually affect my own.

Okay, enough with the disclaimer.

I was raised in a Christian household. For many years, I never questioned it I just went along with what I was told. Since, I’ve grown up (a little) I’ve come to realize that there are faults within the beliefs that were taught to me; I have since, wandered from the pack. I don’t align myself with any one religion, I have beliefs that span several of them and I am unable to find one that incorporates everything I believe. That is not to say that I am without spiritual guidance, I do have faith, just maybe not the same as others.

Lately I have noticed A LOT of kids (ages 17-20) getting married and starting families. This probably isn’t a new development but I am noticing it now. Now, that I no longer fall into the 17-20 year old category. This urgency to get married at such a young age is particularly popular with those that “have a close relationship with God”. The quotations are there because I know many people that prefer that phrasing over the term “Religious”.

Side note: Why do some religious people dislike being called “religious”?

Knowing a couple of these youngsters (geez, that word makes me feel old) personally, I can’t help but be a tad bit skeptical. I am aware that they have made a vow to put God first in their lives, and to remain chaste until marriage, and all that good stuff. And truly, I think that’s great. But, my obvious first reaction to hearing the news of their impending nuptials is “okay, so they’re trying for a quick marriage so that they can get down to the de-flowering.” I get it.

I know, I know. It’s very cynical of me.

Geez Megy, don’t you think that maybe they might, perhaps, really be ready for a family?
Couldn’t they really, truly, be in love?
Isn’t that a possibility?

No, it isn’t.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that sometimes people do meet the love of their life at 16. My mother and step-father are evidence of that. But it is the exception, and not the rule.

I am sure that all of us at some point when we were growing up, felt that we were in love. Ready for forever, and promises to love, honor, and obey and all that mess, …when we were horny teenagers. I thought I was in love. I even tried to run away to be with him; though, I didn’t get very far. That is however, my point exactly.
EVERYONE thought they’d found love at an early age until they realized they hadn’t. That wasn’t love. Lust, infatuation, obsession, the desire to be grown; not love.
It takes a while to realize it, but once you do, it seems like the most obvious thing in the world. What was I thinking?

With the divorce rate being what it is, I am amazed that these children are in such a hurry to be married. But again, if you’re saving yourself for marriage, I can see why you would want to put a rush on it.
And here’s my problem (one of them) with religion, or more specifically, religious parents. They would pressure their children into getting married too young, just so that they don’t have pre-marital sex?!
Fornication = Bad
Divorce = Eh.

I don’t understand that.

In a perfect world where the divorce rate wasn’t so high and people actually stayed in love, remaining chaste would be great. Unfortunately, that’s not the world we live in.
I’m not saying go forth and be whores, there are a lot of risks that come along with sex so you have to be careful about it.
Marriage is supposed to be binding and once the novelty of sex wears off there has to be something else to hold it together. Entering into marriage for any other reason than you are deeply in love and committed to this one other person, isn’t right.  It isn’t to be taken lightly, though it often is.

The likelihood of finding your soul-mate, “The one”, in your little one-horse town at the age of 17 is a billion to one. There’s a whole world to explore!

I sincerely wish only the best for the young couples, and I genuinely hope that everything works out for them. I just can’t help but be a bit leery.


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